enlytener
i try to update this
8/10/25
im writing something but its not done yet

poem 5/10/25
  • if i could, i would take the world to a waltz
  • cathedral masses, swept up from pews
  • heels stuck into cracks of old dancehall laminates.
  • share just a moment or two with many musics
  • each with their different chords
  • a portraiture under dust and chandeliers
  • to map just a brief stint on laminates
  • with brushed feet and rushed steps
  • how wonderful the music
  • it would take a fool to remain still
  • the call of the crows and curtains
  • omen of a wicked thing
  • there is nothing harsher to me than to dance without the world


    • 27/05/25
    i love my friends alot. I think they are apart of a large interconnecting structure connected directly to my heart, like chains. I don't think it's just my friends, though, anybody who ever was my friend, anyone who ever touched my skin, anybody that gave me passing advice; theyre all there. through those chains they leave an imprint of themselves, and that imprint travels down directly into the vessels of me. l am a conglomerate of them all, they all congregate within me, i think about it alot. i think about the negative too, the grief of it all. there are chains there that haven't moved in a long time, they just hang. I think about all of those that aren't around anymore, whether through their own volition or something out of their hands; my nana, I would give anything to feel that chain strengthen again, for it to harden and transmit. but it never will. but i am comforted in the fact that it once did, and therefore her imprint is in my heart. i am her, partly. I carry her with me, from my waking breath on the earth to her last, i carry her with me. I think about those who left me, that i will likely never understand, and that i carry them with me. there is so much venom there, i fantasise about cutting them out of me like a butcher, but i'm not sure that's what i really want, I carry with me a version of them that loved me, a present version, and i show the kindness of remembering them as that. there are those that abandoned me when i needed them, that this heart blamed itself of, undeservingly, i recognise that now. i did not deserve it. i think of the butcher again, but i am kind. i am kind because my mother is. i am kind because my father is. I am kind because my sisters are. i am kind because my nana was, my father gave me his rage, his ability to cut out, but my mother gave me her emotion. a never-ending battle of protection of oneself versus another. i have made peace with it, those who have left are not meant for me, but the chain remains. and when im in my 70s and have raised a family of my own, those chains remain. I march with you willingly or unwillingly, but always forward.